Emerson Commencement Address by David Gregory

Posted on May 16, 2012 by Ruth

Our daughter graduated from Emerson College in Boston on Monday, May 14, 2012. The ceremony was held in the Broadway-style Wang Theater and the reception afterward was in tents on the Boston Common under cloudy skies.

The graduation speaker was David Gregory, moderator of Meet the Press. He did a fine job, opening with lighthearted remarks. I captured his more meaty comment in bullet points:

Learn resilience. You will fail. The test is how you respond.

Learn humility. We are all empty vessels.

Be part of a team. Value everyone’s point of view.

Do great work that you love.

Learn interpersonal skills . . . Impress people beyond social media.

Think strategically. . . . Solve problems.

It’s a good idea to read obituaries and see how people lived their lives, the different roads they took.

Never settle.

Always be yourself. Unless that’s not working for you.

This is your time. Stop. Look around and be thankful.

Indeed. Stop. Look around. Be thankful.

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Evolving

Posted on May 11, 2012 by Ruth

My daughter Hannah attended Juniata, a tiny college in Huntingdon, Pennsylvania. It’s motto is: “Think. Evolve. Act.”

I love a good verb so I’ve pondered those three verbs plenty. Mainly I’ve wondered if they’re in the right order. The truth is I often act before I think, and afterwards I evolve. But the key, of course, is to do all three in proximity to each other.

Our president’s recent “evolving” position on gay marriage has come under fire in the past few days. Some see his new position as a purely political act. I will be the first to admit that I don’t tend to think politically but I can see that there are certainly political reasons for how/when this decision was announced, and there will be political consequences.

I don’t, however, think that negates the power or validity of the fact that his position has evolved and he is willing to be “out there” with it.

To me, an evolving position is a positive thing. It models the fact that thinking people allow their opinions to evolve.  Too often we pretend that the views of politicians must remain cast in stone. If a politician changes her/his mind, we accuse him/her of “waffling.” And certainly, there are times when this is so, when politicians bend with political winds, purely expedient.

But there is another kind of position-changing that reveals an open mind and maturity. When our minds are open we learn new information, have conversations that sway our mind, and are convicted by our belief systems in new ways. In fact, I believe this is something that faith in God calls us to do. We need to use our God-given thinking capacities to think. We need to allow the Spirit to mold us in surprising ways. Isn’t this what “evolving” means?

I certainly don’t believe the same things I did in high school. Do you? My thinking has changed in many ways.

I used to think it looked silly for a girl to drive a car if a boy was sitting in the passenger seat. I used to think that boys shouldn’t have to vacuum, that household chores were “women’s work”. After all, I believed what I was taught: that men exercised headship over women because that was the God-given order of things. I believed women should keep silent.

Maybe you grew up like I did — if not in the particulars of those beliefs, in the assumption that believers were supposed to “get it right.” Figure out what is right and adhere to it as tightly as possible. Be unchanging and unchanged.

Orthodoxy literally means “right belief.” The word itself implies that there IS such a thing as right belief. To many Christians, orthodoxy implies that a stone-set belief was perfected (usually in the 1500s), calcified in the creeds, and will remain the same until the day that Jesus returns.

This isn’t even our proper heritage as people in the Reformed tradition. Oh how easy it is to latch onto our heritage in its particulars and forget that we are “Reformed and Always Reforming.”

I am happy that our President, by his actions, shows that he is always reforming.

Back in 2008 I blogged on this subject: Why I love Barack Obama. I stand by that post. President Obama is not a perfect man, or a perfect president, and he has had his struggles. But he is top-tier. He has integrity. He has smarts. He has backbone. And he deserves our respect and support.

How are you evolving lately?

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Improvising in the Kitchen

Posted on May 9, 2012 by Ruth

My family teases me that I am unable to follow a recipe exactly. To me, a recipe is a suggestion, kind of like driving directions. Actually, I follow Googlemap directions much more closely than I follow recipes!

Before I begin cooking I like to remind myself of the rules of improvisation:

Say Yes
Don’t Prepare
Just Show Up
Start Anywhere
Be Average
Pay Attention
Face the Facts
Stay on Course
Wake Up to the Gifts
Make Mistakes, Please
Act Now
Take Care of Each Other
Enjoy the Ride

I say Yes! to whatever I find in my fridge, but I Don’t Prepare. I simply Show Up in the kitchen, a bit hungry but not too hungry, and I open the cupboards to Face the Facts of what’s there and needs to be used up. I’m shooting only to Be an Average Cook and create an average meal, but I’m open to the possibility that I might Wake Up to a Gift.

Tonight’s attempt to create individual gluten-free pizzas using brown rice tortillas was a gift indeed. The facts I faced were some red and yellow peppers that needed to be used up, an onion that was ready to sprout, and 2 leftover sausages. So I sautéed it all up, and added a can of pureed tomatoes and sprinkled in some spices from the cupboard. I also had some cottage cheese which was unopened. I had bought it because it was on sale and then forgot about it because who eats cottage cheese? I had Made a Mistake please.

After my sauce simmered for a while until it seemed thick, I spread some on a tortilla and then dollopsed on some cottage cheese. Heated in a non-stick pan. The result was delicious. My husband definitely felt that I had Taken Care of Him. Each round worked a bit better. I tried being more scant with the sauce, and added some grated cheddar. I experimented with the heat of the pan and the type of oil.

Hmm, I did Enjoy the Ride!

How do you improvise in the kitchen?

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If Writing is Work, Letting Other People Read What You’ve Written is Even More Work

Posted on May 7, 2012 by Ruth

Today I had a Writer’s Group. I had sent my fellow writers some discussion questions which are to be included at the end of my book on pilgrimage. From their early comments (which we send out digitally in advance of the meeting), I could tell most of the members had some serious reservations about the questions. When I realized this, I seriously considered not attending the group. Who wants to go hear criticism? Besides, I wasn’t feeling good on Sunday so I could honestly say I wasn’t up to it physically. But I also knew that I would simply be avoiding something important: critique.

So I went to the group. I had to consciously set aside my defensiveness to hear the comments with my whole heart. I understand their perspective now, and see the wisdom in targeting different audiences, both Christian and non-Christian.

I now see a whole new way to approach these questions, and have the energy to do the work.

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My Hometown

Posted on April 26, 2012 by Ruth

As you read this brief blogpost, you might want to set the stage by humming Bruce Springsteen’s song, “My Hometown” under your breath.

Even though I wasn’t born there — and didn’t grow up there — Grand Rapids, Michigan has become my hometown of sorts. Grand Rapids is the center of the Dutch Christian Reformed subculture, which is the amniotic fluid I percolated in. In that sense, it birthed me.

Last week I attended the Festival of Faith & Writing, which is held every-other-year at my alma mater, Calvin College.

On the first day, I was on the way to hear Jonathan Safran Foer and stopped in the ladies’ room in the Field House. As I waited for my turn at the sink, the woman ahead of me apologized for making me wait. She said “I just have to run cool water over my wrists.” I said: “No problem, I understand.” Because I do.

I glanced at her face, then at her name badge and added, “Besides that, you’re my cousin.”

She glanced at my name badge and chortled.

She grew up in California; I grew up in New Jersey. Her father and my father were brothers. We have never met before. But I knew her face. She looks exactly like our Aunt Carol (who lives in Illinois).

Hi Cuz!

There’s just something familiar about a hometown.

 

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Everybody Has a Story

Posted on April 17, 2012 by Ruth

Because spring is here and I need to look “professional” for the next few days, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure.

Once I had my feet plunked in the hot water I asked the woman who was massaging them: Where were you born? She said, VietNam. I said I loved Vietnamese food. She said she didn’t know much about VietNam, really. Then, because I listened, she spent the next 45 minutes telling me her story. I asked a few questions, but mainly I just listened as the story came out.

She escaped VietNam at the age of 6, with her aunt, who was 21. They escaped to Cambodia first, hiding in a house in a forest, which they could not leave for more than a month, not even to go out the door. Then they were smuggled onto a ship and got to Thailand. They lived in refugee camps in Thailand for about 5 years. The stories about those camps are are hers alone to tell. They are horrific. She said simply “This is why I am happy for what I have.”

Then she came here to northern Virginia. She got an education. A college degree in Management Information Systems. Actually, she has a management level job, but helps out at the nail salon occasionally. And the reason she is available today is that she is on maternity leave. She had a baby 5 weeks ago. And now she is tending to my nails.

Everybody has a story.

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Chesapeake, Patuxent, Potomac

Posted on April 13, 2012 by Ruth

During Spring Break, my husband and I took an overnight trip to southern Maryland. We headed to one of the beaches we frequent in Calvert County, where we look for sharks’ teeth along the Chesapeake Bay. It was quite cold, and since only one beach was open, it was surprisingly crowded. We enjoyed the 2 mile walk to the beach, a little scrounging along the water, and the 2 mile walk back.

Then we decided to adventure further. We drove west, across the bridge over the Patuxent River, to St. Mary’s City, which is a great historic site. We toured the buildings and got a refresher course on some Maryland history, which, if you live in Virginia, is curiously under-learned.

Then, on the spur of the moment, and following my dim memory from a few years ago, we checked the internet and called a Bed & Breakfast called Woodlawn, in Ridge, MD. We could.

Woodlawn sits on an inlet that connects to the Potomac River during low tide. The grounds leading to it are extensive and beautiful. The estate house has four original fireplaces, one in each of the bottom rooms. The breakfast room has been added on, with another fireplace.

The owner and I talked about the house, and came up with a really exciting idea for my entrepreneurial daughter. She creates historical role-playing parties for adults. Imagine creating a mystery party for a specific location such as this, drawing on the local history? People could enjoy a themed dinner and enact the mystery–which could sprawl through all four rooms of the house–sipping the estate-made wine. Folks could then spend the night. There’s a lot of possibility here.

That night we stayed in the historic house, in the suite that fronts on the river. We paddled a canoe around the inlet, finding our way through the sandbars and out to the Potomac. We saw a number of herons and birds of prey.

We had dinner at a local place, so of course we had crab. Then we sat in big white adirondack chairs on the lawn, drinking wine that had been made by the owner, under his label, Slack.

In the morning we chatted with the innkeeper, a young man from Burundi. We spent half an hour learning about his home country, his journey so far, his hopes and dreams for the future. He fixed me some scrambled eggs since I can’t eat pancakes. We drank a pot of delicious coffee.

After another paddle around the inlet in a very strong wind, we headed south to investigate Point Lookout, which has some astounding Civil War history and a great fishing pier.

Then we headed north to Piney Point, where you can see the enormous pipeline and tanks that store oil from tankers. There’s also a lighthouse and museum. The day was sunny and cold, so when we laid on the beach we got toasty.

Amazing how a 48-hour trip can feel like a week!

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Having It All

Posted on April 9, 2012 by Ruth

One of the odd parts of being an unemployed minister is figuring out what to do on high holy days such as Easter when I’m not preaching somewhere. We decided to sidestep the problem by doing something entirely different: we attended a sunrise service (6:30 am) on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

We sat on folding chairs in the yet-dark. Abe Lincoln towered behind us. I felt the cold wind on my cheeks while I kept my arm around my grown-up daughter, to help keep her warm. In the distance, the early light silhouetted the obelisk of the Washington Monument with pink. We listened to a small orchestra play the prelude: “A Mighty Fortress.”

My daughter whispered to me: “Martin Luther King Jr. gave his speech right here, you know.”

I whispered back: “We’re listening to Martin Luther’s hymn while we sit in the spot where Martin Luther King spoke.”

Then the preacher stood up and said: “He is risen!” and we responded: “He is risen indeed!” Then we sang “Crown Him With Many Crowns.” A Navy chaplain led a prayer for our nation and those in the armed forces. At one point, all 6,000 of us sang “Amazing Grace” a capella. Lovely.

We left after an hour, before the service was done. On our way out we ran into a clergy couple we know well, both retired. That was a gift. Afterward, we drove home through Tysons and stopped for breakfast at the Silver Diner. I ate bison hash with eggs.

The only difficult part of the day was checking on what my “old church” was up to: special music! a baby baptism! Easter brunch! Yes, life goes on and, despite what some folks say, you can’t have it all, at least not all at once. In this season I have my writing ministry and I have my family. But I don’t have my church ministry.

Fortunately, Jesus managed to rise without me preaching on it.

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WIP

Posted on April 4, 2012 by Ruth

It is the Wednesday of Holy Week, and I am not at church.

It is my husband’s Spring Break, and I am not spending time with him.

It is a beautiful evening, and I am not outside.

I have a very nice blog, and I am not blogging.

All because I have WIP, Work in Progress. Writing takes concentration. Thanks for understanding.

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For the File: Life Evolves

Posted on March 27, 2012 by Ruth

Yesterday, March 26, was my daughter’s 25th birthday. Happy Birthday to her! I could not be prouder!

Yesterday was also my mother’s 83rd birthday. My first daughter was born on my mother’s 58th birthday. I could joke that I planned it to make it easier to remember birthdays. But March 26 just seems to be a magic birthdate in my family.

Perhaps these birthdates combined to make me feel a bit nostalgic. Perhaps I was simply avoiding a writing task. But yesterday I plunged in and completed a task I’ve been dabbling at for some time — I purged my way through 2 entire file cabinet drawers. The paper was mainly sermons and church-related paper. Since I have the last 6 years or so worth of sermons on my computer, I got rid of anything I have on the cloud, or that I have a similar version of on the cloud. I also had a lot of reference paper filed, that I no longer refer to. The Internet has really changed my method of sermon preparation. I filled 2 milk crates with paper to be recycled.

When my husband came home we hauled the empty 4-drawer file cabinet out to the porch and I listed it on Craigslist. This has been a goal for some time.

Now I have a stack of remnant paper to deal with — some of it is papers I wrote in seminary, enough to fill a large-sized shoe box. I think I will label it “History docs.” Some sermons have historic or sentimental value (my first or last at a particular church) but I will never reuse them. So I guess they will go in that box.

I have some sermons/papers that predate digital, but have potential value for re-use. Maybe I will scan them. That would be the next step. That will leave a small stack of problem paper I’m sure. I’ll cogitate on it.

Being thrifty/green by nature, I salvaged all the file folders and will cut them up to use as scratch paper. I like that heavy weight. The cutting is a task I can do in front of the TV.

That file cabinet represented more than 20 years of professional paper!

Over the last few weeks I have sold off 2 boxes of books, so I now have room for ongoing manuscripts on my bookshelves, which is a real help. I am turning from mainly preacher into mainly writer, and my study is evolving as well.

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